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[This edited version of the article has been prepared by Dr Robert N Moles]

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Justinian 23 January 2006 - Evan Whitton "While you were snoozing …"

Evan  Whitton is back, romping through some of the issues that troubled him over Christmas and the New Year: Kerry Packer’s marriage of minds with “Greasy Thumb” Guzik … stroke-ridden Ariel Sharon’s corruption … Jack Abramoff looking like a mobster … Kevvie Andrews’ unemployment tricks … How the “unitary executive” theory and Scalito can get Bush off the hook … and the tax-deductibility of the $300 million doucer to Saddam.

Monday, December 26, 2005. K.F. Morebull Packer, 67, thuggish media magnate, libel terrorist, monument of greed, hangs up the cue. A reliable source says he was present when the great man presided at a discussion of a legal problem. After the beard-strokers had offered their counsel, Kezza went to the heart of the matter: “Wouldn’t you just get to the judge?” This suggests a marriage of true minds with Jacob (Greasy Thumb) Guzik (1887-1956), a child pimp who became designated fixer / briber for the Chicago Mob. Jake said: “You buy a judge by weight, like iron in a junkyard.”

Tuesday, December 27, 2005. The statesman absurdly referred to as Jackie the Lackey offers a taxpayer-funded state memorial service for Morebull. That seemed appropriate; the billionaire battler wrought many more miracles than the two required for beatification, e.g. he paid tax at the punishing rate of seven per cent; he was not done for consorting with the late criminal, Ian Robert Beames in 1980 after Beames delivered to him cash in suitcases totalling $225,000; and he kept the name of his mistress, now 48, out of the blats for more than 20 years.

Tuesday, January 3, 2006. A day before Ariel (Arik) Sharon, 77, lawyer, Butcher of Beirut, statesman, suffers a giant stroke, Israeli television reports that, after a three-year investigation, police have prima facie evidence showing he corruptly received large sums in 1999. Abraham Rabinovich, a reporter on the Jerusalem Post (formerly owned by the dread Conrad Black) observed ( The Australian, January 5):

“On past evidence the impact is likely to be limited. Opinion polls have shown most Israelis believe Mr Sharon was involved in corruption, but still want him as Prime Minister. As a political adviser to Mr Sharon said: ‘The public prefers a corrupt man to an idiot’.”

Hmmm. In the USA, some Democrats have been banging on about a “culture of corruption” in the Bush administration. Perhaps it would be more useful to chant: “George (Codpiece) Bush is an idiot.”

Tuesday, January 3, 2006. Fixer Jack Abramoff, 46, pal of Bush urgers Karl Christian Rove, 55, and Grover Glenn Norquist, 49, and billed by Time (January 9) as “The Man Who Bought Washington”, does his bit to keep the focus off White House idiocy.

To plead guilty to charges of conspiracy, fraud and tax evasion, Jack turned up in the guise of an upmarket Mob hitter: midnight blue snap-brim hat and midnight blue trench coat.

Friday, January 6, 2006. Australia’s slouch towards the Nanny (Walloper? Gestapo?) State quickens via federal law making it a crime to use telephone, fax, email or the internet to discuss ending life. Next day, Sydney ladies Jacqueline Huie and Suzanne Baker sent Jackie a message saying: “Dear Mr Howard. If you jump from a very high building, you would certainly kill yourself. I am aware that with your new laws this is an illegal email.”

Thursday, January 12, 2006. The Bureau of Statistics says the “official” unemployment rate for December 2005 is 5.1 per cent. Reptiles regurgitated that nonsense without qualification, although the bureau revealed on March 12, 2005 that the real unemployment rate would be up to 14.8 per cent if 1.2 million hidden jobless were counted. K. James Andrews (LLB Melb), 50, Minister for Unemployment and “reforming” the workplace, naturally likes to have it both ways. Back in March, Kevvie said 14.8 per cent unemployment made the case for keeping wages down. Now he says 5.1 per cent unemployment is “testament to the Howard Government’s strong economic credentials”.

Thursday, January 12, 2006. Bob Parry, of ConsortiumNews, says the real problem with Supreme Court candidate S. Anthony (Scalito) Alito, b. April Fools’ Day 1950, is that he accepts the “unitary executive” theory, i.e. “all executive authority must be in the President’s hands, without exception”. If that threat to democracy prevails, the Codpiece will be able to ignore anti-torture legislation, relieve regulatory agencies of their independence, and switch off investigations into such of his chums as K. Rover, G. Norquist, Kenron Lay, and Irving Lewis (Scooter) Libby.

Parry said John Roberts, Antonin Scalia and Clarrie Thomas are already known to adhere to the theory, and that “Justice” Anthony Kennedy drafted the Bush v Gore (2000) opinion which stole the presidency from Albert Arnold Gore. Scalito will thus probably deliver the killer fifth vote when confirmed as Humpty. With spinal transplants urgently needed for many in politics, the judiciary and the media, the emperor’s crown fits George ever more snugly. Can Jackie’s be far behind?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006. Heading in Sydney’s Daily Telegraph:

“OECD report says Australia is soft on corruption”

The OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) found Australia barred large bribes as tax deductions, but “facilitation payments” – in effect small bribes – can still be claimed on tax. Attorney General P. Cruddock said the report clearly acknowledged that Australia treated bribery and corruption very seriously, and that “modest facilitation” was recognised as appropriate in particular circumstances. That sounds charmingly unworldly; corruption begins with a hamburger. But how modest can you get? Was a $300 million doucer to the great Satan himself, Mr S. Hussein, no more than a “modest facilitation”?

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